February 12, 2013
It's finally a sunny day. Gone are the gray skies and the full clouds that have robbed us of light for days now. They parted ways around dawn and have left a beautiful bright morning in their wake. A morning that I should be spending doing the endless chores on my list. Instead, I've been walking around in a daze thinking about things that have been weighing on me, keeping me hostage and stealing the light just like those ugly dark clouds.
Bad times come and go, just like good ones, so I know this ride is a relatively short one and what we shoulder during the day are just cycles of life. It's hard coping with sick parents and being a thousand miles away, it's hard having a son stray a little too far out of reach, it's hard watching someone you love feel helpless even though you swear to them that you know they're doing their best....and darnit, it's rough having to start over with a new blog after three years.
I need to stop playing on the internet. Sometimes it makes me feel inadequate and gets me thinking in too many directions about what I want, what I want to do, what I can be better at, what to read, what to buy, how to decorate, where I want to go now.......it's endless.
I also need to stop writing lists. They're starting to look like wayward manuscripts of someone's very fairytale life.
The point of all this rambling is not to feel sorry for myself or to focus on the hard things. It's more to reiterate to myself that life is hard and good...all at the same time.
And finding an hour to myself to put together pretty music (and learning the self timer on my camera) is one of those good times.
Hope today is a lovely one for you.